If you recognized yourself in at least three of these points, congratulations, you’re in good company. Helen Nguyen shares a reassuring fact: impostor syndrome is more common among PhDs, top managers, and famous actors. For example, actress Natalie Portman admitted that after “Black Swan,” she was afraid to go on stage, thinking she’d been nominated by mistake. And Albert Einstein, shortly before his death, wrote that he considered himself “a fraud who just happened to have a good imagination.” So, if you feel like an impostor, it often means you’re actually competent—it’s just that your expectations of yourself are unrealistic.
What to do? Dr. Nguyen offers three specific exercises that rewire your brain in three months. They require discipline, but they work without a therapist (although it’s certainly faster with one).
Exercise 1. Success Journal. Every evening, write down three specific accomplishments for the day. Not “I worked well today,” but “I prepared a presentation in two hours instead of three,” “I helped a colleague understand a program,” “I learned to roll my tongue” (yes, that’s an accomplishment, too). After 30 days, your brain will automatically begin to look for successes, and you’ll stop discounting them.
Exercise 2. The Five Whys Rule. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t belong here,” ask yourself five times, “Why?” For example: “I don’t belong here.” Why? “Because I don’t know the new software.” Why don’t I know it? “I wasn’t trained.” Why wasn’t I trained? “Because I was hired three days ago.” Ah, three days ago—so no one expects you to know everything. Usually, by the fifth “why,” fears dissipate.
Exercise 3. Action, not feelings. Learn to tell yourself, “I feel like an impostor, but that’s a feeling, not a fact. And the fact is, I’ve completed five projects in six months.” Separate feelings from reality. You can feel insecure and still do excellent work.
The psychologist also recommends starting to talk about your fears out loud—alone or with a close friend. When you say, “I feel like I’m about to get fired,” it often sounds absurd. And the other person is usually surprised: “You? You get praised at every meeting.” External opinions destroy the internal illusion.
A reader from Melbourne shared a story: “For four years, I was afraid to ask for a raise because I thought I was already overpaid. I read about impostor syndrome and kept a diary of my successes. Two months later, I went to my boss with the numbers—and received a 25% salary increase. I simply didn’t know I was a good specialist because my mind was lying to me.” Check it out; maybe your mind is lying to you too.
