Patricia Burns

“I’ll do it tomorrow” is probably the most treasured phrase in human history. Lie on the couch instead of exercising. Put off a report until the evening. Leave the dishes in the sink “for later.” And then it’s dark, you don’t feel like anything, and you feel like a lazy slob, even though your conscience is gnawing at you. Sound familiar? Australian psychologist and motivational expert Dr. Simon Wells (University of Adelaide) asserts that laziness doesn’t exist in the way we imagine it. He says, “What people call laziness is 90% procrastination due to fear, fatigue, or the feeling that the task is too big. A healthy, happy person who simply ‘doesn’t want’ to move is almost never found. There’s always a reason.” And the most interesting thing: you can get out of this state in 5 minutes without forcing yourself.

Wells conducted an experiment with 500 volunteers who complained of “chronic laziness.” Everyone was given one simple rule, called the “two-step rule.” The result: after two weeks, 78% of the participants reported getting twice as many things done, and their feelings of guilt had decreased by a third. And all without willpower. Without morning self-imposed orders. Without trendy apps.

What is this rule?

The two-step rule is incredibly simple: if you don’t feel like doing something, don’t try to do it completely. Take just two physical steps toward it. Or any microscopic action that takes no more than 5 seconds.

Examples:

Need to wash the dishes? Don’t aim to wash the whole mountain. Just go to the sink and turn on the faucet.
Want to exercise? Don’t think about an hour-long workout. Get out your mat and lay it on the floor.
Need to write a report? Open your laptop and create a file with the name.
Need to clean your room? Pick up one thing and put it back.
Sounds funny? Too easy? That’s the genius of this method. Big things scare the brain. When you tell yourself, “I need to write a 20-page report,” your brain goes into overdrive: “It’s long, it’s complicated, we’ll die. Better to just lie down.” The brain doesn’t know how to evaluate benefits; it knows how to conserve energy—a legacy inherited from its cave-dwelling ancestors. But when you give the command, “Just open the file,” your brain doesn’t resist. It doesn’t hurt. And then the magic happens.

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Imagine scrolling through your Instagram feed and seeing that your best friend bought a new car. Or a colleague got the promotion you’ve been dreaming of. Or a neighbor posted a photo from their vacation in the Maldives. And something warm rises inside you… no, not joy. Something sticky and disgusting. You feel ashamed, you look away, but the feeling remains. This is envy. And most Australians, like people anywhere in the world, are accustomed to considering envy a mortal sin, a sign of pettiness or ingratitude. But psychologists say the opposite: envy is not a vice, but a signal. And a very valuable signal, one that can change your life for the better.

Melbourne psychologist Dr. James O’Connor (a social psychologist) asserts: “Envy is a disguised desire. We don’t envy what we don’t care about.” If you’re annoyed that your friend has a new car, it means you really want a new car yourself, or at least the feeling of freedom and status it symbolizes. If you’re envious of a colleague’s career advancement, it means your ambition is unfulfilled. The problem isn’t envy, but rather that we suppress it, feel ashamed of it, and fail to learn from it.

A 2022 study from the University of New South Wales revealed an interesting pattern: people who acknowledge and analyze their envy are more likely to achieve their goals six months later than those who simply brush it off. Envy works like an internal GPS: it shows you the direction you want to go. The problem is, we usually don’t know how to read this GPS. Instead of “what do I really want?” we think “why does she have it and I don’t?” and retreat into self-flagellation.

Dr. O’Connor identifies two types of envy—and they work differently.

Malicious envy is when you don’t want to acquire what you want, but rather to take it from someone. You dream of your neighbor’s Maldives being taken away. You dream of your colleague failing at a promotion. This envy is destructive; it drives gossip, petty spite, and ultimately poisons your life. Because even if your neighbor becomes poor, you won’t become richer or happier.

Kind (white) envy is when someone else’s success spurres you on. “If she could start her own business, why can’t I?” “If he lost weight by the summer, that means I can too.” This kind of envy is the engine of progress. O’Connor calls it “envy-admiration.” The difference is one: with malicious envy, you focus on the other person (how to punish them), while with kind envy, you focus on yourself (what to do to get the same).

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You’ve received a promotion, but you’re convinced it was a mistake. Or you’ve defended your thesis, but you think, “I just got lucky with the topic.” You’ve completed an outstanding project with your colleagues, but when they praise you, you feel like you’re about to sink into the ground, because it seems like everyone will realize you’re incompetent. This isn’t modesty. It’s imposter syndrome—a psychological phenomenon that, according to various estimates, affects 70 to 80% of people, especially successful ones. Yes, the higher you climb, the more you feel like a thief who’s accidentally walked into business class and is about to be caught.

Why does this happen, and how can you overcome it? Dr. Helen Nguyen, a psychologist from Perth (specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy), explains. She has been treating imposter syndrome for 12 years and asserts, “It’s not a disease.” It’s a neurotic trick of the brain that helped our ancestors keep a low profile to avoid being eaten by predators. In ancient times, modesty saved lives. Today, it prevents us from earning a decent salary and enjoying our successes.

Six signs that impostor syndrome is controlling you:

You attribute your success to external factors (“luck,” “someone helped,” “the task was easy”).
You spend hours berating yourself for even a small mistake, and don’t praise yourself for a single minute after a major success.
You’re afraid to ask questions at work because “everyone will think I’m stupid.”
You constantly compare yourself to others (and to your disadvantage).
You feel like any day will be the day you’ll be exposed.
You work harder than anyone else to “earn” your position.

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The alarm goes off. You turn it off and roll over. Three minutes pass, and you still reach for your smartphone. Checking your messaging apps, Instagram feed, news, emails. “I’ll get up later, just five more minutes.” Sound familiar? If you start your morning with a screen, you’re unknowingly setting in motion a mechanism that will rob you of energy all day. Researchers from the University of Melbourne conducted an experiment with 500 people and found that those who looked at their phones first had 45% higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, just 10 minutes after waking up.

Why is this? Our brains are wired according to ancient patterns. Thousands of years ago, people woke up at dawn, saw the tranquil contours of a cave, heard the sound of a stream, smelled the grass. It was a smooth, gentle start. Today, in the space of a single minute on social media, you’re bombarded with news of a disaster, someone’s angry post, an urgent work message, an advertisement, and a photo of your neighbor’s perfect breakfast. Your brain can’t distinguish between virtual and real threats. It receives an alarm before you’ve even gotten out of bed. And then it operates in fight-or-flight mode all day.

Psychologist Anna Gray (Brisbane, author of the bestseller “The Morning Without Brakes”) explains: “The first 20 minutes after waking up are the ‘golden hour’ of neuroplasticity. During this time, your brain is most receptive to adjustments. If you overload it with information junk, you’re programming yourself for anxiety and distraction for the rest of the day. If you give it peace and gentle activity, you’re activating high-productivity mode.”

At the same time, Gray emphasizes: don’t become a monk and give up technology. It’s a simple rule: no screens for the first 20 minutes after waking up. So what should you do in those 20 minutes? Here’s a specific scenario that thousands of Australians have already tested.

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A Shout Out of Nowhere. It’s a familiar scene: you come home from work, your child has scattered toys, your spouse has forgotten to buy bread, and suddenly you burst into tears. Five minutes later, you feel like a monster. “Why did I do this? They didn’t do it on purpose.” Sydney psychologist Dr. Emily Foster, who has 15 years of experience in family therapy, asserts that in 90% of cases, yelling at loved ones has nothing to do with their actions. The real cause is pent-up fatigue and pent-up stress that you haven’t released in time.

“Imagine a glass. Every little irritant throughout the day is a drop. A traffic jam is a drop. Your boss is picky about a report is a drop. You lost your headphones is a drop. By evening, the glass is overflowing,” explains Foster. “And the last drop, even though it’s insignificant (like not buying bread), causes an explosion. But it’s not the bread that’s to blame, but everything that’s accumulated throughout the day.” The brain is designed to feel safest with loved ones. That’s why we don’t yell at a colleague or a random stranger—only at those who won’t abandon us after a tantrum. The paradox: we take it out on those we love most.

A 2023 University of Queensland study (1,500 Australian families surveyed) found that 84% of regular arguments begin after 6:00 PM, when cortisol levels are at their highest. People are physically unable to control themselves. And it’s not a matter of bad character. It’s a matter of physiology. Chronic sleep deprivation (less than six hours), snacking on the run, and lack of physical activity—all of these factors reduce the ability to inhibit emotions. You become like a dead phone: just a minute ago it showed 20% battery, and then suddenly it dies.

So what can you do? Dr. Foster offers three specific tips that work without expensive therapists.

Tip 1. The glass of water rule. As soon as you feel your throat tightening and you’re about to scream, shut up. Take a deep breath. Slowly drink a glass of water (room temperature is fine). These 20-30 seconds physically refocus your brain. You’re preventing the adrenaline from rushing in. According to Foster, 80% of her clients were able to stop arguments with this very technique.

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