Green light 5. You’ve forgiven yourself (if divorced)
Many divorcees carry shame: “I chose wrong”, “I failed”, “I wasted years”. If you haven’t worked through that, you’ll bring a sense of defectiveness into the next relationship. You may tolerate mistreatment because you feel you don’t deserve better. Do the therapy first. Self‑forgiveness is not a luxury; it’s a prerequisite.
Green light 6. Your children (if any) are stable
If you have kids under 18, their adjustment matters. You don’t need their permission, but you do need them to feel safe. A good sign: your children have stopped asking when you’ll “get another daddy/mummy”, and they’re sleeping and eating normally. Introduce a new partner only after you’ve been dating for at least six months — never in the first weeks.
Green light 7. You feel a quiet openness, not a frantic need
There’s a difference between “I’d like to meet someone if it happens” and “I must find someone immediately or I’ll die alone”. The latter is desperation; it repels healthy people and attracts predators. The former is readiness. You can sense it in your body: chest relaxed, not tight.
