You’ve received a promotion, but you’re convinced it was a mistake. Or you’ve defended your thesis, but you think, “I just got lucky with the topic.” You’ve completed an outstanding project with your colleagues, but when they praise you, you feel like you’re about to sink into the ground, because it seems like everyone will realize you’re incompetent. This isn’t modesty. It’s imposter syndrome\u2014a psychological phenomenon that, according to various estimates, affects 70 to 80% of people, especially successful ones. Yes, the higher you climb, the more you feel like a thief who’s accidentally walked into business class and is about to be caught.<\/p>\n
Why does this happen, and how can you overcome it? Dr. Helen Nguyen, a psychologist from Perth (specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy), explains. She has been treating imposter syndrome for 12 years and asserts, “It’s not a disease.” It’s a neurotic trick of the brain that helped our ancestors keep a low profile to avoid being eaten by predators. In ancient times, modesty saved lives. Today, it prevents us from earning a decent salary and enjoying our successes.<\/p>\n
Six signs that impostor syndrome is controlling you:<\/p>\n
You attribute your success to external factors (“luck,” “someone helped,” “the task was easy”).
\nYou spend hours berating yourself for even a small mistake, and don’t praise yourself for a single minute after a major success.
\nYou’re afraid to ask questions at work because “everyone will think I’m stupid.”
\nYou constantly compare yourself to others (and to your disadvantage).
\nYou feel like any day will be the day you’ll be exposed.
\nYou work harder than anyone else to “earn” your position.<\/p>\n
\nIf you recognized yourself in at least three of these points, congratulations, you’re in good company. Helen Nguyen shares a reassuring fact: impostor syndrome is more common among PhDs, top managers, and famous actors. For example, actress Natalie Portman admitted that after “Black Swan,” she was afraid to go on stage, thinking she’d been nominated by mistake. And Albert Einstein, shortly before his death, wrote that he considered himself “a fraud who just happened to have a good imagination.” So, if you feel like an impostor, it often means you’re actually competent\u2014it’s just that your expectations of yourself are unrealistic.<\/p>\n
What to do? Dr. Nguyen offers three specific exercises that rewire your brain in three months. They require discipline, but they work without a therapist (although it’s certainly faster with one).<\/p>\n
Exercise 1. Success Journal. Every evening, write down three specific accomplishments for the day. Not “I worked well today,” but “I prepared a presentation in two hours instead of three,” “I helped a colleague understand a program,” “I learned to roll my tongue” (yes, that’s an accomplishment, too). After 30 days, your brain will automatically begin to look for successes, and you’ll stop discounting them.<\/p>\n
Exercise 2. The Five Whys Rule. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t belong here,” ask yourself five times, “Why?” For example: “I don’t belong here.” Why? “Because I don’t know the new software.” Why don’t I know it? “I wasn’t trained.” Why wasn’t I trained? “Because I was hired three days ago.” Ah, three days ago\u2014so no one expects you to know everything. Usually, by the fifth “why,” fears dissipate.<\/p>\n
Exercise 3. Action, not feelings. Learn to tell yourself, “I feel like an impostor, but that’s a feeling, not a fact. And the fact is, I’ve completed five projects in six months.” Separate feelings from reality. You can feel insecure and still do excellent work.<\/p>\n
The psychologist also recommends starting to talk about your fears out loud\u2014alone or with a close friend. When you say, “I feel like I’m about to get fired,” it often sounds absurd. And the other person is usually surprised: “You? You get praised at every meeting.” External opinions destroy the internal illusion.<\/p>\n
A reader from Melbourne shared a story: “For four years, I was afraid to ask for a raise because I thought I was already overpaid. I read about impostor syndrome and kept a diary of my successes. Two months later, I went to my boss with the numbers\u2014and received a 25% salary increase. I simply didn’t know I was a good specialist because my mind was lying to me.” Check it out; maybe your mind is lying to you too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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